The Self Reflection Journal Prompts You Need to Start 2019

Every year, since I was maybe ten, I have taken some time at the beginning of the new year to reflect on where I am in life and where I want to go. Granted, when I was ten, that simply involved listing out my favorite things at that point in time (ie. favorite color, food, activities, etc.) and reporting on some demographic logistics (for example, “I am ten, I have brown eyes and brown hair, I am five feet tall, etc.”).

Now that I’m older, that practice of cataloging the contents of my life has taken a slightly more gracious turn to include the practice of summoning gratitude for the many many blessing in my life.

This year, one of my favorite websites released a short guide about how to reflect on your year. I went through the exercises they recommended, and I wanted to share the results with you guys. Similar to last year’s gratitude journal, my hope is that it inspires you to reflect on your life in 2018 with joy and think about how to build upon your own success for an even better 2019.

Gratitude For Every Month in 2018

For my first task, the guide asked me to reflect on each month in 2018 and pull out at least one awesome thing that happened. I started by just trying to fill it in by memory, but once I got out my phone and started flipping through photos, I realized there were often far more than one awesome moment from each month in 2018.

Here’s my full list of awesome moments to be grateful for:

Traveling by boat to the Koh Rong islands in Cambodia

January

• Started my new job at LinkedIn!

• Fort Bragg with Kev; sunset at Sea Glass Beach

• Tahoe trip with Kev and friends; got back on a snowboard for first time in 8 years and was decent!

February

• Went to a very fun underground comedy show on a double date (plus Kev planned it, which was very cute)

March

• Kev and I spent two weeks in Cambodia with a quick stop in South Korea for our big international vacation of the year

April

• Went to Coachella for my 3rd time!

• Planned a successful surprise party for Kev <3

May

• Went to Boston for work; it was my first time there and I got to extend the trip to spend time with a BFF from college

June

• Went to Chicago for work

• Did a family trip to Lake Shasta

• Got to plan an incredible team offsite in Calistoga

• My grandpa got married again at age 75 <3

The sun setting over the lake at Orland Buttes.

July

• Went glamping for my birthday in Healdsburg; best birthday ever!

• Tahoe for Fourth of July

• Vegas for work; saw Bruno Mars!

• Went to London for a team offsite

August

• Family vacation / cruise to NOLA and the Caribbean

September

• Camping trip to Orland Buttes

• Kev surprised me with a Miquel concert!

• Paso Robles weekend; joined a wine club & bathed in hot springs

October

• My dad got married <3

• Visited another BFF in LA

November

• Mom visited SF for “Bring in Your Parents” Day at work; she was so proud of me working at such a great company

December

• Did my first live webinar at work and crushed it

• Got my full time offer at LinkedIn!

• Spent New Years in Tahoe surrounded by friends

I hadn’t done this exercise before, and it was really powerful. Toward the end of 2018, there were multiple stressors piling up on one another (hadn’t secured a full time job yet, roommate moving out over the holidays and other general anxieties). So I somewhat felt like I ended the year on a stressed, and therefore sour, note.

But when I look back on my year through this month by month lens of one incredible moment / opportunity after another, there’s no other way that I can think about my life than with satisfaction and gratitude. We all have stress, but we don’t all get to travel the country / world for work or the incredible Bay Area with friends, family and their loved one.

Life was made wonderful this year by these awesome coworkers.

What I’m Proud of in 2018

Here’s where things get familiar for me. Remember last year’s thankful journal, where I broke down all that I was grateful for in that year across a couple key areas of life? Well, here we go again:

Personal Life

• Wrote and produced a full year of Blue Sky Mind content, ending the year with 4K unique visitors and ~30 subscribers!

• Started investing more in my relationship with my two little brothers (it would be weird to say this if they read my blog but I’m 99% sure that they do not)

Professional Life

• Took an intelligent risk to move from ad sales into content marketing at the company I most admired, but as a contractor. Regardless, it was the most fulfilling role I’ve ever held

• And it translated into a full time job offer on an adjacent team!

Romantic Life

• Kevin and I went through a lot of ups and downs, but I’m proud of us for continuing to try to grow as a couple and not just give up when things got hard; I’m proud of the fact that we’re getting better at hard, but necessary, conversations and that we both do necessary introspection to be better when we come together.

Physical Life

• In 2018, I traveled all over the Bay Area, the US and the world:

  • Tahoe, Healdsburg, Fort Bragg, Paso Robles, Monterey, Calistoga, Shasta, Orland Buttes

  • Chicago, Boston, Minneapolis, Vegas, New Orleans, LA

  • London, Cambodia, South Korea, Jamaica

• Maintained a weight and appearance that I feel comfortable at and proud of, which is a crazy accomplishment, considering the BSM journey started with an outsize obsession with my physical appearance

Spiritual Life

• Continued meditating for 10 minutes almost every day and going to yoga at Grace Cathedral every Tuesday

• Started seeing a new therapist regularly

• Regularly read and wrote about mindfulness for BSM

Financial Life

• Finally became financially secure after struggling with money for 3 years living in the Bay Area

• Secured a full time job with great benefits and stability  

World’s cutest wedding date!

My Intentions for 2019

I wanted to take my annual reflection a step further this year and get really clear with myself about what I wanted out of 2019. For me, it’s less about setting hard goals and timelines and more about breathing consciously into a handful of growth and happiness-oriented intentions. Therefore…

In my personal life, I intend to:

• Expand upon BSM’s first year of success by continuing to produce content that lights me up from the inside

• Bring light and joy into my most important friendships; make sure those people know how much I love and appreciate them

• Bring more expansive love and energy to the world in general

• Finally start volunteering consistently, hopefully with the Braid Mission organization

In my professional life, I intend to:

• Absolutely kill it at my new job, while cutting back on my hours and mental involvement outside of the office, so that I can feel a greater sense of work life balance (which enhances my ability to perform while in the office)

In my romantic life, I intend to:

• Bring light, joy & energy into my relationship; this includes continuing to have difficult, loving conversations about what I need to be happy, but it demands that a selfless, loving headspace motivate each and every one of my actions

In my physical life, I intend to:

• Stay committed to my 3x1 exercise plan of working out three days per week with one day each of yoga, cardio and weight lifting  

• Be able to attend a Barry’s class without fear & also kill it

• Lower my resting heart rate to about 70 bpms (ie. putting the new Apple Watch to work)

In my spiritual life, I intend to:

• Read one book every three months about spirituality

• Continue going to therapy on a bi-weekly basis

• Find a new dharma talk podcast that I can listen to on a regular basis

In my financial life, I intend to:

• Save 20% of my earnings

• Continue earning and spending responsibly

• Set a legitimate limit on shopping every month and stick with it

2019’s Word is “Light”

To round out the exercise, I was asked to pick one word to represent my vision for 2019. I picked the word “light,” because it is what I want to bring to myself, my relationships, and the world. Light is free, expansive, and joyous to behold for most. It is weightless, unencumbered by heavy worries, doubts, and fears. I want that to be me in 2019. Unencumbered and delivering joy to the world.

What’s your word for 2019 and why? Share below in the comments :) And don’t forget to subscribe to Blue Sky Mind if this kind of self reflection is something you want delivered straight to your inbox on a monthly basis!

Thankful Journal #2

This week felt like the right time to write my second thankful journal. Not because everything is going right, but because last week, I was struggling quite a bit. 

The sob story starts the weekend before, when I went to Coachella. Instead of walking away with nothing but memories and pure bliss, I hobbled out of the fairgrounds with a crippling head cold.

Not Coachella, but encountered these beauties on a run a few weeks ago. Always be thankful for the flowers. 

I’m bummed to say that I let myself get really down about this. In fact, I kind of let it ruin my entire Coachella experience. I’ll forgive myself a little, because it’s hard not to freak out when you’re trying to sleep inside of a tiny two person tent with a burning throat and head full of snot while people continue to party around you into the wee hours.

Since I came down with it while at the festival, I gave my body almost no opportunity to rest, and for that, it turned nastier than usual. Full circle, I’ve been struggling with it all week.

Coachella day three: smiling on the outside, crumbling on the inside. If only it were from a hangover. 

On top of the worse than normal cold, I had to fly home from LA Monday night, leaving me with a fully pressurized (ie. blocked) left ear until Wednesday afternoon. Talk about uncomfortable.

And if all that weren’t enough, I broke out in hives on Tuesday night due to an unknown allergic reaction, which didn’t clear up until Friday morning.

Head cold + deafness + hives = unhappy Ky.

So after a good long pity party (let’s say Monday through Wednesday), I realized how silly it was to be feeling sorry for myself. Coachella was actually incredible, besides my flunky immune system. I got to go with fantastic people and watch some of my favorite musicians play live (and see that Beyonce performance in the flesh whaaat!). Not only can I look back on that and a recent perfect trip to Cambodia, but I can look forward to so much happiness and opportunity, as well.

Wait, I was here last Saturday. Initiate "stop feeling sorry for yourself" immediately. 

So the things I’m feeling grateful for this week:

• The opportunity to put my thoughts and energy toward the happiness of another. I spent much of last week pulling together birthday presents, a surprise party and a batch of Oatmeal Scotchies for my guy, and realized again how joyful it is to invest time in making someone else feel special and loved. I think he did, in fact, end up feeling very special and loved, which was the cherry on top. 
• Flowers on a hard day. I didn’t sleep well one day last week and still wasn’t feeling well at work the next, leading to a bit of an emotional meltdown. I woke up from a nap later in the day to a beautiful bunch of tiger lilies and remembered how loved and supported I am, even when I’m not my best self.
• The return of a friend on a long journey. One of my best friends just returned from a three month stint traveling Southeast Asia (more on her solo female travel coming to the blog!). I’m so thankful that she not only returned safe and sound, but had an incredible experience traveling. More than anything - selfishly - I’m grateful to have her back in my life.

It was fun to exercise a few of my underutilized love languages to celebrate the birthday boy. Gifts & acts of service aren't usually my specialty.

But here we are with three presents & some homemade cookies!

And here's the happy guy post-surprise.

• WFH days. Three days of working from home last week enabled me to recover from this crappy cold while still supporting my team and my goals at work. It would have made getting sick so much more stressful had I not the option to do this, so I’m really grateful my company offers this option.
• Beautiful sunny San Francisco days and the glorious dusk that comes with them. I still have to pinch myself a little when I’m walking around my neighborhood at sunset and the sky turns that hazy pinky-blue color and the sun reflects a molten gold off the windows in the hills. I take a picture every time, but it never does the city justice. 
• Free online courses! I am so jazzed on Coursera right now. I just enrolled in and started week one of Yale’s most popular class of all time “The Science of Well-Being,” and I am already so into it. How incredible is it that in 2018, the internet allows us to receive top notch education 100% for free?
• Everyone who put up with me at the height of my cold. Bronze medal to those I camped with who either helped get me out of camp ASAP on Monday morning or gave me a hug and ended up getting sick. Sorry about that. Silver medal to our friends who woke up at 8 am after getting four hours of sleep to drive me back to LA because I was in such a sad state. You are angels. Gold medal to my boyfriend who continued to love and take care of me, even when I very seriously asked him to call 9-1-1 on Sunday night and sat in bed the next day doing work with tissues stuffed up my nose. You passed the ultimate test.

I am so in love with the colors and the architecture of SF. They bring me endless joy!

It was Thursday evening that I began to actively count my blessing and practice gratitude. It also coincided with the gradual reduction of coughing and nose-blowing, making it just a bit easier to see the good in life. I admit, I am very human. 

I woke up Friday morning and made a point to meditate before work. Just ten minutes kneeling beside my bed in silence, I felt that wash of liquid warmth and sunshine-y light throughout my body that's often touted in guided meditation programs. That pause and reflection period is so crucial for me to get out of my head (that was whining about a cold at Coachella) and into the world, which is bursting with things to be thankful for.

Thankful for friends who make you breakfast when you stop by to drop of gear before the festival. Frittatas, are you kidding me!? 

I so hope this ongoing thankful journal inspires you to start your own! The easiest way to form the habit is by playing “Three Good Things” every night before you go to bed, where you either list in your head or to your bedmate three things that you’re thankful for that day.

It sounds so simple, yet taking the time to verbalize and savor our happiness is what deepens and prolongs it. I feel renewed every time I practice gratitude, no matter how big or small the commemoration may be. 

For more gratitude practice, check out my first thankful journal that kicked off the new year!

Thankful Journal #1

As we close out the year, I wanted to take some time to reflect on all that’s happened in 2017 and seal it with a moment of gratitude. A regular gratitude practice is the single most expert-recommended trick for short and long-term happiness, and it just so happens to be one of the easiest. 

The honest effects of gratitude and positivity! 

Knowing this, I try to end each night playing the game, “Three Good Things.” In it, I mentally list three things I’m thankful for that day. It’s really simple, but so powerful. I usually fall asleep as I’m naming my third thing and drift off with a smile on my face. So not a bad deal. 

Thankful for the chance to explore Chicago over St. Patrick's Day weekend with some of my best buds. 

There are some days that I need more of a pick-me-up, so I’ll pull out my journal and physically list the things that bring me joy or that I'm feeling grateful for in that moment. I wanted to do this digitally to help give some insight into my regular practice and also help answer the question of, "How do I meaningfully reflect on 2017 in a way that brings me joy?" I've divided my life into six different facets to help narrow the focus a bit more:

Thankful for beautiful walks in the green, green nature.

In 2017, I was thankful for...

Socially

• Best friends from college whom I feel so comfortable and at home with
• A family who texts, calls, and leaves voicemails
• The chance to be there for my friends when they were going through tough times (i.e. the chance to put the needs of others' before my own)
• Regular game nights that allow me to connect with friends without the pressure of drinking 

Some of the aforementioned best friends, making my heart burst just a little at the seams. 

Professionally

• The chance to revive my passion for writing & creativity with this platform  
• Being recognized and nurtured in my job  
• All the challenges I faced at work this year that lead to personal growth. I learned so much about starting a new role, negotiating for my worth, interviewing, and make decisions about change. 
• The chance to start the year with a clean slate and a new job! 

Just two of the amazing people I got to work with in 2017. 

Romantically

• All the romance of a new relationship :) Little things like an Easter basket filled with my favorite candy, a surprise visit on Valentine's Day, a romantic drive up the 1, a getaway weekend to Costanoa Lodge, all the bouquets of flowers "just because" ...I'll spare everyone, but the list goes on. 
• Falling in love with a truly good person who cares for me in a way that I have always wanted

Best part of my 2017 was you :) 

Spiritually

• Moments that humble me, like times I've failed and times I needed to be called out on my attitude
• Books that make me feel understand and less alone 
• Disconnecting from tech and dropping into stillness 
• Days that I got to spend all on my own, doing exactly what makes me happy
• Discovering Rumi's poetry (one of my favorite poems here)
• Simply, that I have hope for the future

Thankful for the chance to travel to Bali this year and stay in incredible locations like this one in Ubud. 

Financially

• A steady job that allowed me to live in my favorite city in my beautiful apartment
• The ability to put a good chunk of money into retirement
• Seeing some of my first investments in the stock market pay off

The aforementioned favorite city.

Physically

• The opportunity to travel to Chicago, Bali, New York, Spain, and Portugal
• A hometown I love to visit 
• All the sweet puppy dogs who make me smile when I meet them
• The many nights I got 8 hours of blissful, restful sleep 
• Other creators who help me stay fit/sane without a gym membership by producing amazing free content. Some of my recent favorites: 

60 Minute Beginner Yoga Flow

60 Minute Intermediate Yoga Flow

I've struggled just a little to get this post out, because 2017 was not without its challenges for me. In fact, a lot of them seemed to culminate in the last few months. But when I lay out my life like this - with everything that I have to be thankful for - I realize it would be more inauthentic to not share. Hopefully by giving a peek into my regular practice, you’ll be inspired to start your own and experience an increased sense of joy and contentment with your already incredible life. 

If you're into this kind of thing and want to see more little happiness-boosting tips & tricks in your inbox every month, subscribe to the blog. I send regular roundups of the content that you might have missed on this platform and some of my favorite reads from around the web!