The Self Reflection Journal Prompts You Need to Start 2019

Every year, since I was maybe ten, I have taken some time at the beginning of the new year to reflect on where I am in life and where I want to go. Granted, when I was ten, that simply involved listing out my favorite things at that point in time (ie. favorite color, food, activities, etc.) and reporting on some demographic logistics (for example, “I am ten, I have brown eyes and brown hair, I am five feet tall, etc.”).

Now that I’m older, that practice of cataloging the contents of my life has taken a slightly more gracious turn to include the practice of summoning gratitude for the many many blessing in my life.

This year, one of my favorite websites released a short guide about how to reflect on your year. I went through the exercises they recommended, and I wanted to share the results with you guys. Similar to last year’s gratitude journal, my hope is that it inspires you to reflect on your life in 2018 with joy and think about how to build upon your own success for an even better 2019.

Gratitude For Every Month in 2018

For my first task, the guide asked me to reflect on each month in 2018 and pull out at least one awesome thing that happened. I started by just trying to fill it in by memory, but once I got out my phone and started flipping through photos, I realized there were often far more than one awesome moment from each month in 2018.

Here’s my full list of awesome moments to be grateful for:

Traveling by boat to the Koh Rong islands in Cambodia

January

• Started my new job at LinkedIn!

• Fort Bragg with Kev; sunset at Sea Glass Beach

• Tahoe trip with Kev and friends; got back on a snowboard for first time in 8 years and was decent!

February

• Went to a very fun underground comedy show on a double date (plus Kev planned it, which was very cute)

March

• Kev and I spent two weeks in Cambodia with a quick stop in South Korea for our big international vacation of the year

April

• Went to Coachella for my 3rd time!

• Planned a successful surprise party for Kev <3

May

• Went to Boston for work; it was my first time there and I got to extend the trip to spend time with a BFF from college

June

• Went to Chicago for work

• Did a family trip to Lake Shasta

• Got to plan an incredible team offsite in Calistoga

• My grandpa got married again at age 75 <3

The sun setting over the lake at Orland Buttes.

July

• Went glamping for my birthday in Healdsburg; best birthday ever!

• Tahoe for Fourth of July

• Vegas for work; saw Bruno Mars!

• Went to London for a team offsite

August

• Family vacation / cruise to NOLA and the Caribbean

September

• Camping trip to Orland Buttes

• Kev surprised me with a Miquel concert!

• Paso Robles weekend; joined a wine club & bathed in hot springs

October

• My dad got married <3

• Visited another BFF in LA

November

• Mom visited SF for “Bring in Your Parents” Day at work; she was so proud of me working at such a great company

December

• Did my first live webinar at work and crushed it

• Got my full time offer at LinkedIn!

• Spent New Years in Tahoe surrounded by friends

I hadn’t done this exercise before, and it was really powerful. Toward the end of 2018, there were multiple stressors piling up on one another (hadn’t secured a full time job yet, roommate moving out over the holidays and other general anxieties). So I somewhat felt like I ended the year on a stressed, and therefore sour, note.

But when I look back on my year through this month by month lens of one incredible moment / opportunity after another, there’s no other way that I can think about my life than with satisfaction and gratitude. We all have stress, but we don’t all get to travel the country / world for work or the incredible Bay Area with friends, family and their loved one.

Life was made wonderful this year by these awesome coworkers.

What I’m Proud of in 2018

Here’s where things get familiar for me. Remember last year’s thankful journal, where I broke down all that I was grateful for in that year across a couple key areas of life? Well, here we go again:

Personal Life

• Wrote and produced a full year of Blue Sky Mind content, ending the year with 4K unique visitors and ~30 subscribers!

• Started investing more in my relationship with my two little brothers (it would be weird to say this if they read my blog but I’m 99% sure that they do not)

Professional Life

• Took an intelligent risk to move from ad sales into content marketing at the company I most admired, but as a contractor. Regardless, it was the most fulfilling role I’ve ever held

• And it translated into a full time job offer on an adjacent team!

Romantic Life

• Kevin and I went through a lot of ups and downs, but I’m proud of us for continuing to try to grow as a couple and not just give up when things got hard; I’m proud of the fact that we’re getting better at hard, but necessary, conversations and that we both do necessary introspection to be better when we come together.

Physical Life

• In 2018, I traveled all over the Bay Area, the US and the world:

  • Tahoe, Healdsburg, Fort Bragg, Paso Robles, Monterey, Calistoga, Shasta, Orland Buttes

  • Chicago, Boston, Minneapolis, Vegas, New Orleans, LA

  • London, Cambodia, South Korea, Jamaica

• Maintained a weight and appearance that I feel comfortable at and proud of, which is a crazy accomplishment, considering the BSM journey started with an outsize obsession with my physical appearance

Spiritual Life

• Continued meditating for 10 minutes almost every day and going to yoga at Grace Cathedral every Tuesday

• Started seeing a new therapist regularly

• Regularly read and wrote about mindfulness for BSM

Financial Life

• Finally became financially secure after struggling with money for 3 years living in the Bay Area

• Secured a full time job with great benefits and stability  

World’s cutest wedding date!

My Intentions for 2019

I wanted to take my annual reflection a step further this year and get really clear with myself about what I wanted out of 2019. For me, it’s less about setting hard goals and timelines and more about breathing consciously into a handful of growth and happiness-oriented intentions. Therefore…

In my personal life, I intend to:

• Expand upon BSM’s first year of success by continuing to produce content that lights me up from the inside

• Bring light and joy into my most important friendships; make sure those people know how much I love and appreciate them

• Bring more expansive love and energy to the world in general

• Finally start volunteering consistently, hopefully with the Braid Mission organization

In my professional life, I intend to:

• Absolutely kill it at my new job, while cutting back on my hours and mental involvement outside of the office, so that I can feel a greater sense of work life balance (which enhances my ability to perform while in the office)

In my romantic life, I intend to:

• Bring light, joy & energy into my relationship; this includes continuing to have difficult, loving conversations about what I need to be happy, but it demands that a selfless, loving headspace motivate each and every one of my actions

In my physical life, I intend to:

• Stay committed to my 3x1 exercise plan of working out three days per week with one day each of yoga, cardio and weight lifting  

• Be able to attend a Barry’s class without fear & also kill it

• Lower my resting heart rate to about 70 bpms (ie. putting the new Apple Watch to work)

In my spiritual life, I intend to:

• Read one book every three months about spirituality

• Continue going to therapy on a bi-weekly basis

• Find a new dharma talk podcast that I can listen to on a regular basis

In my financial life, I intend to:

• Save 20% of my earnings

• Continue earning and spending responsibly

• Set a legitimate limit on shopping every month and stick with it

2019’s Word is “Light”

To round out the exercise, I was asked to pick one word to represent my vision for 2019. I picked the word “light,” because it is what I want to bring to myself, my relationships, and the world. Light is free, expansive, and joyous to behold for most. It is weightless, unencumbered by heavy worries, doubts, and fears. I want that to be me in 2019. Unencumbered and delivering joy to the world.

What’s your word for 2019 and why? Share below in the comments :) And don’t forget to subscribe to Blue Sky Mind if this kind of self reflection is something you want delivered straight to your inbox on a monthly basis!

Blue Sky Mind's 12 Most Popular Posts of 2018

In 2018, Blue Sky Mind saw 4,000 unique individuals come across the site. It saw 30-something new blog posts published, some of which were viewed up to 500 times. That’s something I’m proud of.

In 2018, Blue Sky Mind’s had its first full year out in universe. As its keeper, I wanted to reflect on the experience, in all its highs and lows.

The highs you’ll find below. That’s where I’m sharing my postes with the mostes from the year.

As for the lows…honesty hour. Most of my blog posts were seen by fewer than 100 people in 2018. And if you happened to notice, my publishing frequency has steadily dropped from one post a week, to two posts a month, to one post a month…maybe. I’m struggling to produce quality content at the rate that I’d like while having a full time job and personal life. My subscribers (the ultimate prize for any blogger) are steadily ticking up, but remain at a fairly small number.

But that’s ok. I’m just getting started! No one every said the first year of blogging would be glamorous. I’m exceedingly proud that 4,000 people would be able to find my way to their words over the course of a year. Some of those people even felt compelled to reach out with kind words of appreciation or encouragement. To all of you who’ve supported me through this first year, I am so grateful.

Please join me in celebrating one full year of writing by revisiting Blue Sky Mind’s top ten most popular blog posts of the year, along with two of my personal favorites.

The 10 Most Popular Blue Sky Mind Posts of 2018

1. Thankful Journal #1

This was the first gratitude journal I ever published on BSM, which I wrote basically as a reflection on 2017 using the “six core needs” framework. I think that people were hungry for some positivity in the face of a tough year (politically and professionally for me). To me, gratitude is that soothing balm that allows me to bring all that is right in my life to the forefront of my minds.

2. Lisbon, Portugal: Itinerary & Tips

In December of 2017, I traveled to Spain & Portugal with my mom and grandparents. We hit all the hotspots, including Barcelona, Madrid, Lisbon, and Porto. I’m a notorious over-planner when it comes to international travel, so in each of my guides, I share the who/what/where/etc. and our meticulously planned itinerary. I like to think that I do the research (and make the mistakes) so that you don’t have to.

3. 10 Questions With A Badass Female Solo Traveler: A First Timer's Guide

This is one of my personal favorites from the year, because I got to capture the incredible solo travel story of one of my very best friends. This is an inspiring read for anyone who has contemplated jetting off to spend three months exploring Southeast Asia (or any part of the world, for that matter).

4. Using Mindfulness for Weight Loss: How I Lost 15 lbs. in Three Years

On the one hand, I’m happy that perhaps my most vulnerable post of 2018 landed in the top five; it means that I’m not the only one who cares about their weight and struggles to manage it at times. On the other hand, it’s scary to open up about something as shame-laden as your own weight and difficulties in managing it; it means people are free to judge me for my lack of willpower or hyper-sensitivity to my appearance. But it wouldn’t be authentic for me to pretend like this didn’t matter to me a whole lot. So in this post, I share a little more about my weight journey and ultimately the strategies / lifestyle changes that allowed me to arrive at a very happy place with my body.

5. What Is Mindful Eating? 10 Experts Define It In One Sentence

I like to write about positive psychology and healthy eating, but let’s be honest -- I’m clearly not the expert. Everything I believe to be true I’ve read in books or on the internet. They are intellectual and scientific opinions from experts who are far more qualified to explain an idea or phenomenon than I. That’s why when I sought to explain the concept of mindful eating -- to which I am completely devoted -- I pulled together the most resonant definitions from doctors, dietitians, and medical associations.

6. Traveling To Cambodia: What To Wear & Packing List

Is packing not one of the most stressful activities we are asked to do on a regular basis? I believe yes, and that is why I am low-key insane about my pre-travel packing lists. I do spreadsheets, hardcore research, and create a mindful time/space for the actual packing itself to take place. In this post, I publicize said research and final list for my 2018 trip to Cambodia, so that others have a comprehensive base to work off of (as well as my trial and error learnings).

7. Winter in Barcelona, Spain: 3-Day Itinerary

When I plan a trip, I’m trying to maximize my time there. To me, it’s part of being purposeful about my travel -- how do I see and learn the most from this 28-hour round trip plane ride? Read on for where to stay and what to eat / drink in Barcelona, Spain, as well as the perfect 3-day itinerary.

8. Happy Travel: The Ultimate 9-Day Cambodia Itinerary

I started labeling my travel posts with the term “happy travel” this year, because I feel like it encapsulates how I try to plan my vacations. Equal parts adventure, history/culture and relaxation. Mind you, there is never a trip where every moment is happy. But, there is a way to be mindful about where you travel, why and what you do when you get there. Kevin and I’s trip to Cambodia is the perfect example of this effort.

9. What I Learned From "The Happiness Advantage: 7 Principles of Positive Psychology" [Cheatsheet]

Guys, meet the book that started it all. I had never heard the term “positive psychology” until someone gifted me this book in 2016. To this day, it’s my favorite book written on the subject and this post spells out the topline takeaways that everyone can benefit from. Read the cheatsheet to see if checking out the book might be a strong move for you.

10. Spain & Portugal in the Winter: Packing List

This trip again! When I went to Spain & Portugal last December, I was in for a bit of a rude awakening. It’s COLD in December. It is not the warm sunny southern Europe that everyone pictures. So that changes the packing list just a little bit. No, sorry, it changes it a lot. If you’re making your way to that part of the world at this time of year, I would encourage you to pack your warmest coat and take a peek at this list.

2 Small But Mighty Posts on Blue Sky Mind

These posts didn’t get the most attention this year, but when people landed on them, they spent a long time reading. I think that’s a pretty good indication that these posts might be uniquely helpful, and therefore worth elevating for a second look.

1. Thankful Journal #2

Here’s another post centered on the fact that life throws you a curveball now and then (like falling deathly ill at Coachella), but gratitude is the most powerful mental medicine of all. I think it’s also an ode to the simple moments and things in life that can often go unnoticed, but can be such a powerful influence for joy (like cherry blossoms or having breakfast with friends).

2. What I Learned from “The Science of Happiness,” Yale’s Most Popular Course of All Time (Part 1)

I’m really proud of this post. Basically, I took Yale’s seminal positive psychology course online and took all the notes and synthesized them for you guys. This is truly part 1 of everything you need to know about positive psychology and how to harness its power for your life. Follow it with part 2 of my course notes for a comprehensive crash course.

It’s been an amazing year of learning -- how to write good content, what type of content you guys like to read, what I like to write myself, etc. It wasn’t the year that I was able to produce content the most consistently, but I hope that is something I’m better able to manage in 2019.

Ultimately, nothing makes me happier or is truer to the mission of this site than helping educate and inspire busy professionals to make simple, permanent improvements to their happiness. Thanks for reading and I hope to see more of you in 2019!

To stay on top of my semi-monthly musings, subscribe to Blue Sky Mind.

How To Set Your Intention Every Month & Why

Intention setting is potentially something you perceive as part of the hippy-dippy handbook for getting nowhere in life. But I emphatically beg to differ. Written intention setting is a practice that’s recently been popularized by Instagram bloggers like @leefromamerica and @thebalancedblonde (coincidentally two of my favorites), so a few months back, I thought I’d give it a try.

If you follow this blog regularly, you know that writing is one of my few passions. I keep a regular thankful journal, as well as an everyday regular life journal. It was in this everyday life journal that I began to set my intentions on a monthly basis.

Though I’m still new to this practice, I’ve seen the benefits in my life already. Making space in your life to assess where it could be improved with a bit of targeted mindfulness is a powerful form of self love. Read on to understand the basics and be inspired by some specific intentions from myself and others.

How To Set Your Intention

It couldn't be easier. All you have to do is:

1. Grab a writing device. I tend to prefer paper and pen, as I like to record my monthly intentions in my everyday journal. In the past, I’ve used the page of an adult coloring book and colored pencils. This month, I used my laptop, so I could show you guys how I like to set my intentions.

2. Reflect on the last month. What moments brought you down? Think about moments of sadness, anger, or discontent. Who were you in those moments?

3. Set positive, growth-oriented intentions. Pain and stress can be transformed into things of beauty and value if we choose to accept and learn from it. Set intentions that are more expansive than finite, meaning more broad than narrow/niche. Examples below.

4. Express each intention in a short phrase. Elaborate with words, drawings, doodles, colors, etc. But the shore distillation is important for you to be able to remember each individual intention.

5. Write in the first person. Intention setting is very personal, so I choose to write them in the first person in a sort of conversation with myself. I have pretty regular dialogues with my inner being/child, so to be honest, I’m glad it’s finally coming up in a concrete way on my blog.

6. Reflect on your intentions regularly. Intention setting aims to break old, negative habits and replace them with new, positive ones. Habits don’t tend to budge unless there’s a new mental system in place to facilitate the new behavior, and you’ll need to constantly remind yourself of these new behaviors.

7. Detach from the outcome. This is not a rigorous practice. The goal is to simply to look inward on a regular basis and gently course correct on your emotional/spiritual journey.

8. Do it all over again the next month. Setting your intention on a regular basis (monthly, weekly, daily, etc.) is what turns an activity into a practice.  

My Intentions This Month

This is a really personal practice, so don’t be afraid to express your intentions in whatever form comes most naturally. But I wanted to share mine this month to both stay accountable and give an example of the type of thought I put into mine:

1. Be happy with right now. You’ve been so bummed lately at what feels like repeated career opportunities that begin with a spike of hope and plummet in what feels like a personal rejection of the value you bring to the workplace personally and professionally. But it’s so important to remember that you have so much good in your life, especially when it comes to work. You have a job that pays you, recognizes you, supports you and helps you develop a craft that you genuinely enjoy. It’s okay that said job is a contractor position that isn’t parlaying to full-time in the timeline you had expected. It’s really okay -- because even if you don’t have the best situation (e.g. a full time job with exorbitant perks and benefits), you still have great situation (e.g. steady income, a coworker family, health insurance, enjoyable work, plenty of nice perks).

2. Do what inspires joy, not what you think will make you happy. You operate on such strict timelines and to-do lists for yourself, but to what end? All it does is make you unhappy that you haven’t delivered on these arbitrary expected outputs for yourself. Your blog for instance. I know you want to post on a strict bi-weekly cadence so your readers don’t think you’ve forgotten about them. But trust me, they really won’t notice if you go three or four weeks without posting. There’s a difference between holding yourself to a high standard and beating yourself up for not doing it all. You’re allowed to want to build a successful blog that touches and lights up the world (or at least a few people in it). You’re no longer allowed to beat yourself up over the timeline that this dream will be realized. Keep in mind that this will also help you create content that is more meaningful to you, like the stuff that just flows out of you when the inspiration strikes, rather than trying to produce to meet a scheduled slot.

3. Practice subbing screens for breath. I was inspired by an Instagram I saw this morning by one of my favorite artists Mari Andrew. It’s about making a positive, mindful association with a mundane, everyday object to replace what might otherwise have been a neutral or negative thought habit. One of my least favorite personal habits is staring at my phone screen while I wait for the elevators at work. So, I intend to start associating the elevators with a deep, centering, calming breath. After that one breath, I am free to look at my phone. But what I’ve already found is that just one breath helps break the habit/cycle of addiction, leading me to favor the experience of presence over the experience of glazed scrolling.

4. Walk more. You used to be so good about 10K steps per day! Those were the days. I get that your new bus is too convenient to pass up, so it’s time to get intentional about new ways to bring movement into your day. What if you hopped on the treadmill for 10 minutes after lunch? Heck, what if you went outside and did a lap around the block? You keep complaining to anyone who will listen that you never leave the office while the sun is up. So maybe you just...should? Go for a walk after lunch tomorrow. See how that goes. Like we talked about before, it’s okay to do (e.g. produce) less. Just be, on a walk on a sunny day.

12 Intentions You Can Borrow

Here are four inspired by my own intention setting practice:

• Think less, do less, be more. For me, this includes 10 minutes of meditation everyday, scheduling free time into my calendar, and giving myself permission to lay in bed and read a book if that’s what I want.

• Practice saying no. To alcohol, more plans or foods that upset my body. Remembering that I don’t have to (and shouldn’t!) go out to please anyone.

• Fill my body with loving materials. This includes water, tea, kombucha, greens, beans, nuts & seeds.

• Dive deeper into the emotional pool & explore a little. For me, this is sitting with painful or shameful memories and getting comfortable with my past, mistakes and all. This intention motivated me to get back into therapy to work through past difficulties.

Then four of my favorites set by other bloggers:

• When you’re feeling bored/lonely, don’t go on social media

• Investing financially in yourself is very different than overspending

• Return to love in every experience

• Over-communicate your needs to make sure your loved ones are on the same page.

And finally, here’s four proposed by Don Miquel Ruiz in his book, the four “agreements” of Toltec wisdom:

• Take nothing personally

• Be impeccable with your words

• Don’t make assumptions

• Always do my best

Benefits of Intention Setting

Intention setting for me is an easy and tangible way to gently course correct at the beginning of each month. It serves as the necessary foil to a regular gratitude practice; of course, the most important thing for our mental health is to find the good in our current lives. But what’s equally important to continue on a journey of personal growth is to take time to reflect on the parts of life that could be improved and setting mindful, loving intentions to work toward that better future.

That’s just me, though. For a slew of other benefits, I liked this article on benefits of intention-setting in the workplace.

If you were to set an intention for yourself right now, what would it be? Let me know in the comments, so we can support one another on this journey!