14 of the Best Mind Body and Soul Quotes I Read Last Year

On Christmas morning 2017, my dad gifted me a one-year daily mindfulness calendar. It was one of my favorite gifts of the year.  My dad isn’t big into Eastern philosophy, so for him to pick out something like that for me was really special.  

That daily calendar sat down with me at my new job in January of last year, and it was with me the entire journey from contractor to full time employee at the company I’ve always wanted to work for. At times, it was an incredibly stressful year, including more work and responsibility than I’ve ever been given and the pressure of securing something long term by showing what a good investment I was. These daily mind, body, and soul quotes became sacred to me. 

And over the course of the year, I realized something: If you want to make mindfulness a bigger part of your life, small reminders work wonders. By building the daily habit of sitting down at my desk (with my ritual drip coffee, add almond milk) and turning the page on my yoga calendar, I was reminded every day to slow down, breathe, appreciate, and/or accept.

Every day, I would tear off the top sheet to reveal the new day’s words. If the words from the day before were resonant, I would slip the little sheet of paper into my desk drawer. At the end of the year, I shuffled all those saved slips of paper into a pile and had a year’s worth of true inspiration in my hand.

My Favorite Mind Body and Soul Quotes

As I was reading through the quotes again, certain themes sprang up. I started parsing the slips of paper into little groups and actually tossed quite a few during this process. I wanted to make sure I only shared that which could be easily distilled into a valuable quote that I could share with the world.  

Read on for the quotes that spoke to my mind, body and soul in 2018.

Relating to others and building empathy 

1.     “What if religion was each other? . . . If forests were our church? . . . If wisdom was self-knowledge? If love was the center of our being.” -Ganga White, author and founder

This full quote was beautiful, but I wanted to tease out a seemingly central lesson: Value and learn from your relationships with nature, others, and yourself. Put that above the teachings you may draw from an ancient book or from the pulpit of a church.   

2.     “Ask questions . . . into the heart of a person causing you pain or difficulty. What is unique and beautiful about this person? What might be the good intention behind his or her behavior? Where does he or she hurt? Your work is to find a way to open your heart to this person.”

 The older I get, the more disgruntled humans there seem to be in my life. This powerful exercise helps me empathize with each individual (whether a grumpy colleague or an aggressive commuter) and see how their actions are likely fueled by central human needs that I, too, share. Understanding someone’s pain turns any interaction into an opportunity for connection.  

Practicing self-love and self-care

3.     “Your practice is to create change from within by clearing your mind, connecting with your true self, and acting from a place of wisdom. But the beauty of this seemingly ‘selfish’ practice is that when you do your inner work, others around -- particularly those to whom you’re closest -- experience the positive effects of your work firsthand.”  

One more time for the self-care skeptics in the back! Taking care of yourself is not selfish. In fact, I argue that it is selfless. You cannot fill up someone else’s cup from your own empty pitcher. Fill up said pitcher by spending time doing the things that help you connect to and know yourself. Once you support yourself psychologically, you’ll be best positioned to pull others up along with you.

4.     “The ultimate guilt-busting strategy is an apology. The person from whom you’re seeking forgiveness is always yourself. Think of this as asking forgiveness from your higher self.”  

If you have lasting shame or guilt in your life, this quote is for you. Forgive yourself for mistakes or transgressions of the past. Don’t forget to identify the learning and vow to do better next time. But forgive yourself, and know you remain a good person, no matter your mistakes.

Easing suffering by practicing non-attachment  

5.     “Start each morning by saying, ‘I intend to treat each part of this day as an offering by living it as best I’m able.’”

I suffer when I feel like I’ve let someone down. Especially at work. I can ease this suffering by appreciating the work I’ve done each day, the person I’ve showed up as. As long as I start that day with the best of intentions and a desire to bring value and light into the world, I’m good.  

6.     “When faced with a challenge, a helpful mindset can be found in the concept of non-attachment to the fruits of one’s actions . . . From this perspective, everything you do becomes an opportunity for practice . . . Joy comes from the act itself, not the result.”

I suffer when a blog post I spent hours on gets less than 30 views (so read up, y’all!). I can ease this suffering by remembering how incredibly satisfying it is to find myself in the state of flow that blogging brings me. I can relax into the joy of writing about positive psychology and getting to share that with my friends and family.

Finding time and the present moment

7.     “Try this practice the next time you feel yourself rushing. Stop. Stand or sit totally still for one full minute. Say to yourself, ‘I have all the time in the world.’”

Big topic on my mind right now. What’s the freaking rush? It’s so freeing to shed the sense of urgency that pervades modern work-life. Here’s more on how to learn patience in life (from yours truly).  

8.     “Practicing contentment doesn’t mean that you stop striving, but rather, that you live with more acceptance of what is, celebrating the good in each moment.”

Let this quote dispel the myth once and for all that finding joy in the present moment makes us complacent. Contentment and drive are not mutually exclusive. I can be joyful in a moment, even if I am reading a book about how to accelerate my career or lead a healthier lifestyle. Because I’m probably reading that book in a moment bursting with blessings, like warm candlelight nearby or something as simple as a roof over my head. Find the good to celebrate in each moment you can.

Gaining clarity of self  

9.     “The sky is luminous above the clouds -- pervasive, limitless and free . . . Whenever you catch yourself engaging with mental “clouds,” simply shift your identification from the clouds to the sky itself. Realize that what you’ve been seeking is what you already are and always have been! Big Sky Mind opens you to seeing that your true nature is this awareness within.”

When I named my blog “Blue Sky Mind,” I didn’t realize that “Big Sky Mind” was a concept in yogi circles. Needless to say, it was a favorite upon discovery. A blue sky mind is one without limiting, cyclical, negative belief clouds. We all have a blue sky mind waiting to be relaxed under if we simply shift our internal perspective.

10.  “I ask myself daily: ‘What is worth my time, attention, prana, love?’ The insight that comes from this inquiry is like a torch leading me through the dark.” – Sean Johnson

Carefully curate the people and activities that you give your time and energy to. We all have 24 hours a day. There’s simply not enough time to live a fulfilling life while tolerating toxic or energy-draining elements that threaten said fulfillment. Invest in people, places and activities that bring you joy.  

Processing your life through mindfulness

11.  “Witness your thoughts and emotions. Without judgement, be present with whatever comes up. If fear is present, make space for it and then allow it to release.”

My life coach just shared a releasing exercise with me that is almost exactly this. I tried it recently to help ease some sleep anxiety (a post for another time), and it worked really well. The practice is even more effective when you write down the thoughts or emotions, followed by the words, “I see you. I release you.” 

12.  “Once you’re in bed for the night, mentally go back through your day in increments of thirty minutes . . . Notice any feelings that come up as you go through the catalog of your day, then let them go.”

You might consider pairing this exercise with the Berkeley-approved 3 Good Things exercise that I’ve come to love and rep on BSM.

Working through life’s difficulties  

13.  “If you accept the inevitability of life’s twists and turns and find the opportunity for growth in the struggles you face, you can prevent the unnecessary, self-inflicted suffering that comes from feelings like guilt, blame and regret. You can’t avoid hardship in life, but . . . you can learn to see that your true self remains unchanged -- and so you can find peace and ease even amidst life’s difficulties.”

This quote is a soothing balm for my often anxiety-chaffed soul. Things will go wrong in life, but we don’t have to hate ourselves or the world in response. We can simply accept those moments, welcome them even, because they do not change the essence of who we are and merely provide better contrast for the equally inevitable moments of joy that life brings.  

14.  “Once you’ve noticed your reactive, negative thoughts, you have a chance to turn them around . . . [From] ‘These kids are driving me crazy’ . . . to ‘Isn’t their energy wonderful?’ Even if you don’t fully believe it, your effort to change your thinking will calm your stress and might even inspire a feeling within of love or compassion.”

Try reframing the situation. The opposite direction is spiraling further into your dark thoughts, so what do you have to lose? You can do this with your romantic partner, best friend, or your manager at work. Everyone around you does something that likely drives you at least a little crazy, but peeling back the motivations on those annoying habits can reveal some deep, positive character traits about a person.

What are your favorite mind, body and soul quotes?

This is by no means an exhaustive list! If you’ve got a favorite quote, I’d love to keep adding to this post. Send me a message or drop yours into the comments, and I’ll happily add solid additions over time.

For more posts like this, subscribe to Blue Sky Mind and get monthly emails straight to your inbox.

How To Learn Patience In Life: This Simple, 3-Word Mantra Is Helping Me Figure It Out

We rush for no reason. Or at least I do. It seems to be ingrained in us, right? Like there’s this strong sense of pride associated with being over-scheduled and over-committed. Like having many social engagements automatically means that you are fulfilled by your relationships or having sooo much work to do automatically means that you are engaged at your job. And with a packed schedule comes many moments of impatience and frustration when things do not go as planned.

That’s why I wanted to explore this idea of how to learn patience in life. I struggle with patience a lot. It’s one of those things that I’m prepared to talk about in an interview when asked, “Can you tell us about one of your biggest weaknesses?” Because I want to achieve a lot in my life. They say you can’t have it all -- happy relationship, strong friendships, good job, financial security, health and hobbies -- but I’m determined to, for better or worse. And with time as my only true constraint, I’m constantly iterating on the number of hours in a week I give to the pursuit of each of these goals.

This balance is far from perfect, evidenced by the fact that I’m overcome by fits of impatient rage on a weekly basis. The rage is almost always disproportionate to the event it’s been triggered by. It might surprise some of you who know me in person or through my writing to learn that I struggle with anger at times. It’s not an emotion that I characterize myself by, but as master meditator Mary Maddux, MS, HTP, says, “Anger is a natural flow of life’s energy.” We all experience it, because it actually helps us at times.

I’ve been blessed to live a life relatively anger-free life (anxiety and insecurity, sure, but little anger), so I’m pretty new to dealing with it. In most situations, anger is a direct result of my impatience at something. So let’s work through this together, and hopefully learn to mitigate these uncomfortable feelings along the way.

How to Learn Patience in Life

As I write this, I’m sitting in a rerouted Uber because I just arrived at the wrong location for a company volunteer event (completely my fault) for which I was already 10 minutes late. So now I’m going to be 30 minutes late.

This sort of thing would normally cause me to seethe, say mean words to myself, and break out in hives. The perfect trifecta of anger, anxiety and self-destructiveness. And while my new mantra does not completely dissipate these feelings, it’s a fair reality check.

Before we get to the mantra, it’s important to first have a sense for what patience is and why it’s important for us to practice.

What is Patience?

To me, patience is a sense of calm about the passage of time. It’s that intrinsic feeling that everything is going to work out over time. In the dictionary, patience is defined as:

“The capacity to accept or tolerate delay, trouble, or suffering without getting angry or upset.”

Tolerance and self-restraint are two of the word’s synonyms. To have patience is in direct contrast to the concept of instant gratification, which we in the technological age are so familiar with.

What Patience Is Not

Note that there is a difference between being impatient and being respectful of people’s time. If you’re overly relaxed about arriving most places 30 minutes late, it does not signal that you are a lovely and patient person. I find that to be a troublesome indication of selfishness or simple lack of thoughtfulness.

Being considerate is a value that I personally hold in high regard, so my desire to be respectful of other people’s time or my commitments to them can lead to an amount of impatience on my end. I will get frustrated when obstacles arise that impede my ability to be considerate of others. I view this impatience as healthy and necessary.

Signs of Impatience

As a general rule of thumb, it’s good to be able to recognize any emotion that comes your way. For me, impatience looks like a sudden shift in mood to pure anger. My muscles tense and I actually have a hard time controlling my impulse to utter profanities. It’s crazy how linked my sense of impatience is to my anger.

But it turns out I’m not alone. Judith Orloff, M.D., an assistant clinical professor of psychiatry at the University of California at Los Angeles, says that impatience is characterized by:

“The sense that you should be able to go ahead of someone or that your needs should be put first in any situation. You get pushy and think that you have more rights than others.”

For the record, it bothers me how profoundly self-centered my impatience is. It surely comes from some ego-driven belief that the world should revolve around me and if it dare impede on my plans, I shall be angry. I guess the jokes on me because the world doesn’t care if I’m mad.

Here’s another compelling look at the actual functional signs of impatience, courtesy of Jim Stone Ph.D.:

“We suffer impatience when 1) we have a goal, 2) we have accepted certain costs (including opportunity costs) for reaching the goal, 3) we learn that it’s going to cost us more than we thought to reach the goal, and 4) we start looking for ways to avoid having to pay those extra costs.”

So if we apply this to one of the earlier scenarios, we suffer impatience when we 1) want to get to work at 8:30 for a global team meeting and 2) we think it will take the normal 30-40 minutes on the bus to get there, but 3) we learn it’s going to take over 15 minutes for the bus to arrive at our stop alone and so 4) we start looking at taking an Uber or just friggin walking the whole way so as to avoid getting to work late.

Basically, you know you’re at risk of impatience (and subsequent anger) when you have a goal that ends up taking more time to achieve than you’d planned for.

Why Practice Patience? The Benefits

Why should you want to learn how to have patience in life? Isn’t it kind of a useless function in today’s world of instant gratification? Well, I think the ties between impatience, anger and stress are really compelling. In fact, a 2007 study by Fuller Theological Seminary professor Sarah A. Schnitker and UC Davis psychology professor Robert Emmons, found that:

“Patient people tend to experience less depression and negative emotions, perhaps because they can cope better with upsetting or stressful situations. They also rate themselves as more mindful and feel more gratitude, more connection to mankind and to the universe, and a greater sense of abundance.”

Also, the Buddha practiced patience, and he is an icon for all mindful humans to strive toward.

My Mantra For Patience

Ok, here it is. It’s this simple -- my new mantra is:

“What’s the rush?”

Seriously, who is riding your coattails to make sure that you show up to this event on time? Is it possible that you are the only one who cares this much about you showing up right on time?

It is possible, but only after a little self-interrogation. What’s the rush?

This new mantra is something I’m repeating daily. To remember, I have it written down on sticky notes at my desk at home and work. Keep in mind that habit change -- including mental habit change -- does not come overnight. It requires consistent repetition to form a new pathway in the brain.

Scenarios In Which This Mantra Works Well

This mantra can work well both when you’re experiencing acute impatience or when you’re feeling frustrated by the pace of your life in general. Here are just a couple of my regular sources of annoyance that I’m trying to apply the mantra to:

1. Sitting in an Uber or on the bus in stop-and-go traffic while anxiously trying to make it to work on time for an early meeting.

2. Stuck walking behind a slow person on the street on my way home from work.  

3. When only 20 people read a blog post I spent hours working on (!!).  

4. Petty disputes with friends or family that aren’t even worth arguing over, but it’s the principle of the matter!

5. Legitimate disputes with folks who see reality differently than myself, whether personal, professional or political.

Going deeper on just one of these examples, as an individual in their mid-twenties, I’m thinking about age 30 as a clear deadline to have a lot of stuff figured out. But truly, what’s the rush? I have something like 70 more years of life after that to also figure stuff out!

You Don’t Have To Be Controlled By Your Impatience

I returned to this post after the volunteer event mentioned at the beginning. No one cared even a little bit that I was late, and I was able to quickly get into the volunteering spirit upon arrival, because I hadn’t beaten myself up about my lateness. Instead, I remembered my new mantra and practiced repeating it until I calmed down.

Again, I am a very impatient person. That impatience leads me to a ton of unwelcome, unhelpful anger. Part of being mindful is recognizing uncomfy thought patterns and taking action to break the cycle. For me, that looks like two mantras: you’ve already heard Jade’s, my life coach’s killer quote, “Less think, less do, more be.” Now, I’m adding “What’s the rush?” and it seems to be helping!

Do you have any tips for overcoming impatience? Is it a mantra, a philosophical position, or simple awareness meditation that helps? I’m still traveling this road, so any sign posts would be helpful to me and my fellow mindful friends :)

From Conflicted to Conscious Consumer: How To Build & Enjoy a Mindful Shopping Habit

Note: This post was contributed by Bill Dixon, former journalist and mindful grandfather.

I am a conflicted consumer.

I know that a consumer lifestyle encourages impulsivity and discourages mindful contemplation. But I find it hard to break the habit of buying when and where the mood hits me. If I practiced what has become known as conscious consumerism, I’d probably buy more local, more sustainable, more handmade. Better still, I’d buy the raw materials and make/grow my own stuff.

That’s not me.

So I was more than surprised when I discovered – and loved -- a shop driven by mindfulness. Which got me thinking how I might replicate the experience. Maybe add a mindfulness filter to my shopping decisions. Maybe become a less-reluctantly conscious consumer.

Side notes before we go any further:

1. I found the mindful shop quite by accident. No altruism involved.

2. I wanted to replicate the experience of mindful consumption not to benefit society but to make me feel better. Selfish? Sure. But the more I thought about the concept, the more I thought that other people – call them accidentally mindful shoppers – might want to try it out.

3. I’m not interested in businesses that make mindfulness their product, such as yoga studios and mindfulness workshops. Rather, my focus is on stores where mindfulness is in the product rather than being the product.

What follows is the story of how I stumbled into mindful shopping. After that, I offer a few suggestions about how you might apply mindfulness to improve your overall quality of life and encourage the growth of mind-friendly organizations.

For Starters, Try the Papaya Boat @ Banán

Recently, my youngest daughter and granddaughter visited my wife and I on Oahu. They came with an agenda that included grabbing a snack at Banán. It’s a store near the University of Hawaii that specializes in dairy-free soft-serve dishes made with locally grown bananas and other local ingredients. I had never heard of Banán, and I am quite certain I’d never have gone there without a push from the relatives.

Dairy-free is especially important to our granddaughter, who has a fraught digestive relationship with things from cows. Banán was a good choice from that standpoint. In addition, Banán is a company that was founded with a mission to “push the world in a mindful and fun direction.” I learned that from the first graphic I saw when I walked through their door.

The one with the fraught cow-food relationship // photo credit: Chloe Dixon

What I experienced in the store was tasty food, friendly service and, most of all, an environment that welcomed customers (especially young ones) for quiet conversation and play. It was a reversal of previous shopping experiences where “locally sourced” was a synonym for high prices and, frankly, a fairly low percentage of products that actually were local.

Most of Banán’s ingredients come from farms in the state of Hawaii, including the big three fruits: bananas from Sugarland Growers on Oahu, pineapples from Maui Gold on Maui, and papayas from Kumu Farms on Moloka’I.

The Papaya Boat option is a nice choice. It consists of soft-serve with fruit, served in half a papaya. When you’re done, the papaya peel goes into a bucket and becomes animal feed on a local farm. The store also reduces its waste footprint by giving price breaks to customers who bring their own bowls and use recyclable wooden utensils.

What I liked most at the store, however, was its amiable environment of quiet conversation and smiles. It’s a busy place, with a steady flow of university students, schoolkids, even toddlers, in addition to a steady flow of younger adults. They can relax on futons in the main area, at tables indoors and out, and even on the floor in a carpeted banana-themed room. Zen coloring books are available for the contemplative.

A soft-serve store with lots of young people about could have been boisterous. It wasn’t. I enjoyed my food, and I enjoyed enjoying it.

The “playroom” at Banan // photo credit: Chloe Dixon

What If You Could Choose Stores Mindfully?

My trip to Banán caused me to wonder what other stores near me practiced mindfulness. So I checked it out.

My web search turned up dozens of counseling services, life coaches, yoga centers, even a mindful sex therapist, on Oahu. The number of mindful services isn’t surprising since Oahu is the most populous island in Hawaii, with about 950,000 people.

However, even though the mindfulness industry was easy to find, stores that attested to the practice of mindfulness were not. Besides Banán, I found the following:

• A locally-designed surf-themed clothing store that provides yoga and jiu jitsu classes, and shares its revenue with other local businesses: Kekoa Collective.

• A locally designed active-wear store that offers community events and workshops focused on mindful living: Lily Lotus.

I even found two schools, one public and one private, that make mindfulness a central part of their mission. Not shops, but still interesting. Let’s stipulate at this point that I lack interest in surf clothes, jiu jitsu, activewear for women and going back to school. Nonetheless, I found the short list, along with my Banán experience, kind of inspiring.

What would happen, I asked, if I started to apply a mindfulness screen to places where I already shop? That would be an easy place to begin and an exercise I could do on a regular basis. It might also lead me to other mind-friendly places. (To digress for a moment: I do not contemplate taking my conscious consumption into the world of boycotts and environmental activism, although these activities do seem to fall within the definition of the term. Right now, I’m an explorer not a conqueror when it comes to new ways of buying stuff.)

Coloring books at Banan for the mindful consumer // photo credit: Chloe Dixon

Here’s What I’ve Done

Define my optimal experience of mindful shopping

I’m all for stores that are locally-based, attentive, welcoming, and in-house/bespoke (they produce at least some of what they sell, and the rest is unique). Plus, their products are made with the least possible damage to the human and ecological environments.

Take a moment to define your optimal shopping experience. Is there a layer of consciousness that can be added to where you decide to set foot retail-wise?

Identify the “mindful” stores I already visit

In Hawaii, I like Banán, of course, along with:

1. Reyn Spooner, mostly men’s clothing, designed in Hawaii

2. Allison Izu & Ten Tomorrow, women’s clothing designed and made in Hawaii, a great place for me to shop for gifts

In Oregon, I like:

1. Willamette Valley Vineyards, great tasting room with a panoramic view of wine country

2. Roth’s Fresh Markets, locally owned, and it offers a wide selection of produce from area farms

3. The Otis Café, tasty fresh breads, on the way to the coast

4. The Pelican Pub & Brewery, hearty craft brews, with a great view of sunset over the Pacific Ocean

It’s not a long list, but I’m just getting started.

As the need arises, talk to friends and check out stores online to identify new opportunities for mindful shopping

My wife and I are fortunate to have lots of friends who seek out unique places to shop. Until now, we haven’t been systematic about following up on their recommendations. That is gradually changing.

Start a “Mindful Shops” group in my contacts. Consult it before I shop, and add to it as I find more.

This could also be a running list in your Notes app or a shared Google Sheet that you invite your friends to contribute to. The simple act of documentation will help reinforce the new habit.  

What’s Your Experience? Conflicted Consumers Want To Know

I told you it was easy. I’m sure that as I get further into my search, I’ll update my methods. In the meantime, I’d like to know what you think.

Give mindful shopping a try, and share your experience in the Comments section of Blue Sky Mind. Do you already practice something like mindful shopping or conscious consumerism? Please let other readers know how it’s going.

Conflicted consumers everywhere will thank you.